at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
did i just pee glitter
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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