Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
