When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This is my gift to your gina
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
