You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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