Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
