The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
