I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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