my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
