she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
