My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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