there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do vagina's smell?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
