this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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