OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
