my soul wont recognize me after tonight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
