I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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