I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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