i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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