Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it because I queefed?
Sober January is a disaster.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
