I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
