My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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