Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize