This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
