K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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