so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
