Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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