Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize