the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
