You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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