I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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