im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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