So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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