white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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