Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
