my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
