My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
