Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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