you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
