remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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