I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
