You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
