ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he shaved USA in his pubs
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
