Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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