Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
