I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize