Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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(804): View more from Virginia

does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Whatever it was. it was pregnant.

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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(239): View more from Florida

I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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(816): View more from Missouri

believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut

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(559): View more from California

They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.

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