you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
