We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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