why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
