I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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