I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex on a dog bed..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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