i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
