i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
