3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
there is glitter all over my balls
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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