Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
