Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
