Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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