She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
