well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
